Scared of Everything

-Ask the Expert-

Question:

How can I go back to be the easy-going and the carefree girl that I once was? I am scared of everything: scared to drive, to stay with people, and I even suffer of agoraphobia [ed. the fear of open spaces]. Is this an anxiety disorder related problem? How do i change this?
I get to the end of each day with great effort, and I mainly do it for the sake of my daughter.

Answer:

Dear Debora,

You pictured a dramatic image of your suffering in few short lines, more than you could have done in many pages. You are scared of everything, you said, maybe even to send this help request? Your question seems like a scream in the void, or the message in a bottle that one could abandon to the sea. Looks like you are asking for my help without knowing if and how this help could get to you. I do not know your story and to suppose it is impossible, since each of us is special and different, but I can feel the intensity of your fear, maybe the depression, and the enormous effort that you make to keep all this anxiety under control for your daughter’s sake.

To be hit by such a deep crisis never happens randomly, and somewhere in your life there must be the origin of this pain. I mean that maybe something happened lately that started this anguish, and maybe this pain could have the purpose of forcing you to analyze some aspect of your present or your past. From another point of view, it might be that in this moment you are prisoner of a compulsive and obsessive thinking mechanism that could be interruptible by redirecting it to something more positive and proactive. This is not a task that you will easily accomplish alone.

I do not know if it can comfort you, but you should know that the pain that you described is fairly common and yes, it is one of the possible conditions of anxiety disorder. There are many people that everyday fight to not fall into depression or victims of panic attacks. It seems to be a problem of our age, of the society in which we live. My opinion is that at least part of the problem is caused by the isolation in which men and women often live, constantly forced to many tasks: be efficient, produce, be independent, keep going at all costs… This makes the pain of the soul to be lived as a shame and a weakness, and pushes us to force ourselves to hide the pain deep inside. That nameless pain eventually will come back, and all the forgotten emotions will form a blanket of anxiety that can be cause of many intellectual and physical issues.

I don’t want this to discourage you though: overall I am optimistic and I believe that each one of us have the resources and skills to come out of pain, and to go back to wake up in the morning with a joyful heart. Sometimes though, to begin a healing process is necessary to have the help and guidance of a therapist, so to be able to better express the pain, to find and solve the causes of the problem, and find the key for a real transformation.

Good luck and take care,

Answer:

Patricia Calabi, Psychotherapist

Question: Debora, 24 year's old

publication date: 11/20/2006

For additional informations, check out the article What is Anxiety Disorder?
Check out the original article here