Fear of Depression

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Question:

After 6 years away studying, I came back to my city and living in a bad moment of my life. My moods are constantly changing, up and down, and I am nervous, and feels like my wing has been clipped… My morals are extremely low… will I sink into depression?

I now tend to isolate myself and not talk to anyone. I am scaring myself.

Answer:

Dear Manuela,

Having past 6 years away from the city that you live certainly means the construction of a social context in which you are comfortable in; the first of your young adulthood, it is important and significant because of the people that you’ve encounter as well as for the internal formations that took place. Because of this, having left everything can have a feeling of uprooting with a sense of emptiness and disorientation that can explain your constant up and down mood swings. Also due to having lost the strong anchor that you’ve had before and not having found that yet, you can feel like a fluttering balloon that has no control of where it goes and have the sensation that you’ve lost the right equilibrium.

There’s also the need to understand whether the environment that you’ve returned to is still suitable for you and how much you’ve grown in this 6 years somewhere else. Maybe you expected to come back and find everything how you’ve left them but instead they’ve changed, and the reason not being other than you’ve changed and you see things differently than you otherwise would. It can also be the disappointment that follows when you exit from childhood, when you have responsibilities, after studying, to compose yourself like an adult like looking for a job. And if you already have one, it would be the responsibility of having to work and make a plan for your life that is not based on dreams and desires. At this time, you are face with the limitations of reality and at the same time need to be open for possibilities because resources can present themselves at unexpected times and you need to realize it when it happens. Do not ever feel like your wings are clipped.

If the loss that we are talking about including a physiological effect, it is a sign and also a stimulus to pursue new guidelines to follow, create new relational networks with people, and even discover new places within your city that you were not aware of before. It was not mentioned that whether or not returning to your city also means returning to your family and this, on an unconscious level, can represent a form of regression that tends to destabilize you. Specifically if your parents, more or less knowingly, began to treat you like the child that they have then instead of the young women that you’ve become.

Consider the signals that your emotions are sending you, bring yourself to your actual current situation without fear, but instead, consider them important messages that you need to understand better and therefore to make choices more adequate to your purpose and to your goals. Listen to them, eventually through guided routines, you can rekindle your motivations and your resources will present themselves. Remember, both your motivations and resources are urged and they emerge with an incredible amount of strength when there is a destination, a purpose, and a goal to achieve. Maybe it is this that they are signaling to you the symptoms that you are describing: what you want in respect of what you already have and are they enough? What are the directions in obtaining what you want? With what means can you arrive to your purpose and your goal?

Best wishes.

Answer:
Patrizia Napoleone, Psychotherapist
Question:
Emanuela, 25 anni
Publication Date: 10/09/2006

Check out the original article here

Fear of exams

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Question:

Hello, I am a 20 years old student that currently studies at a university. My problem is that I am experiencing blocks with my study. I study, I prepare, but I am terrorized by exams. When I know that an exam is imminent, whether near or far, I start to sweat and I feel a heavy weight oppressing my stomach. 

The closer the exam, the worse I become, sometimes I even break down in tears. I’ve re-arranged all of my exams for this but the last incident was evident. I prepared great before the exam, but when I arrived at the university to take the exam I felt pretty much absent-minded. I could not bring myself close to the classroom and I went away tearing. What can this be? Is there a cure? 

Who can I turn for help? Thank you for responding.

Answer:

Dear Emanuele, I want to reassure you immediately that there is a solution for what you are going through. Your problem, specifically the mental block before taking an exam, enters into the categories of disorders, or anxiety neurosis. However, it can also be attributed to low self-esteem, or lack of trust in self. I would like to suggest to you to not focus all of your attention, your worries, your life, and yourself only on the problem: “how do I overcome this mental block with my study.” Instead, I think, it is important that you ask yourself, if the study block might be hiding something other problems. That it is trying to hint at something unconscious.

Therefore, choose to site with a psychotherapist that can facilitate a solution not only for the study block but also so that you can live knowingly, with better self-esteem, trust, and self-determination. I hope in this hasty response I was able to help. In any case, I hope you find the best way to live and to make your life function. 

Best wishes. 

Answer:

Silvano Forcillo, Psychotherapist

Question:

Emanuele, 20 years old

Publication Date: 05/19/2008

Urophobia: Fear of urinating in public

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Question:

Hi, I am a 22 years old guy, and since about 2 months I found out that I am urophobic. Since I was a kid I had problems urinating in “public” places. For public I mean open (in the wild, for example), or crowded places. In general in any place that is not my house. I was always scared of being observed while doing my things. 

This did not prevent me to have a normal life, I traveled and visited many countries, because when I had to use the bathroom I always found some way to distract myself, and I eventually succeeded. Ever since my second year of college, though, I had to stay outside of my house for 12-14 hours a day, and I started not being able to use the bathroom anymore. I had painful anxiety crisis, with obsessive thoughts of having to force myself to urinate.

Sadly though, as a consequence of my anxiety, I began having issues such as pain and constant stimulus even after using the bathroom. I went to an urological visit, and they found a small inflammation of the prostate that could have justified my symptoms. After various cures and almost no results, I began having problems going out of my house in general (the idea of having to use the bathroom and be away from home became a horrible thought and caused me great anxiety.) 

The situation became even worser, and soon I was not able to urinate even in my house, this forced me to go to the hospital 5 times in great pain after non urinating for several days.

All the clinical exams that I took excluded organic causes. I decided to go to a psychiatrist that seem to not be aware of the existence of my pathology, and practically did not solve anything at all.

This fear prevents me to leave my house, to go to college, and to normally live like I did until a couple of months ago. Also, when I am under stress or I am unable to go to my home's bathroom, the anxiety grows to a point that I urinate wherever I am.

Can someone tell me what can I do? My life became impossible. 

Thank you.

Answer:

Dear George, I confess that I had to research the topic before to give you my answer, in fact I was not aware of the existence of this particular phobia, that seems actually to be more diffused in the recent years. Regardless of the particular shape that it has in your case, your problem is related to an anxiety disorder (in other cases it can manifests itself as a panic attack). 

The key to your problem lies in your words: “i was always scared of being observed”, -specifically- observed while your genitals are uncovered. I believe that the origin and the cure to your particular issue have to be searched in the events of your past related to your sexuality-affectivity. This from a psychological point of view.

 

On an energetic point of view (my preparation is Somato-Psycho-Energetic, and this leads me to take in consideration this aspect too), it is important to notice also the contradictory behavior of “urinating wherever you are”. This highlights the coexistence of two opposite and extreme forces. Only one of the two wins, without you being able to set a right, and natural, equilibrium.

Maybe this indication can help you looking for the right professional help for you particular case.

Good Luck!

Answer:

Sergio Scialanca, Psychologist

Question:

George, 22 years old

Publication Date: 12/05/2007 

 

Check out the original article here

Social Anxiety: Sweating, Suffocating and Panic Attacks

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Question:

Dear Doctors,

I am writing to you because my social life has been changing recently. In fact, I tend to go out much less now because doing so gives me a lot of physical and mental discomfort. My problem is related to sweating and to strong and bad odor; the problem, I think, instead is not only linked psychologically but more importantly to my ability to respire.

For example, if I find myself in crowded and somewhat heated places, I suffer like a dog; I become paranoid when I feel like I am suffocating and try to avoid places with a possibility of sweating. I would like to know if a septum deviation can solve anything, including palpitation. Thank You.

Answer:

Dear Francesca,

The fact that you asked this question to someone who is specialized in psychology related science brings me to think that there is something inside you that is pushing you to think that there are some psychological component to the problems that you are describing, not only physical.

Surely I do not exclude the importance to put into consideration the problems that are physical and can have a negative impact on your problem, but wait before considering seeing a specialist doctor; as a psychologist, I pay much more attention only the perception that you have on these physical characteristics and the amount of pain it cause you more than the sweating and the bad odor itself. A high pain can become something that can slowly hinder your social relations even more.

I think at the bottom of all this there is an anxiety component that is more or less known and limiting you particularly; connecting it to your social situations, it manifests through your fear of “having something wrong” that the others can tell. Following this hypothesis it can also be considered the palpitation that you’ve quickly mentioned as a very important element to understand your situation better.

Referring back to your question, I have to confirm how much I believe breathing to be the most important element to take in consideration, and to improve on. For example, beginning from techniques that are specific and goal-oriented, with the help of an expert, a path can be found to help you overcome in the best way possible the problems that you’ve said. To conclude this, what I really want to tell you in all honesty is that you must develop more trust and hope within yourself, because the consequence can be seen in these problems.

Wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer:

Manuele Matera, Psychologist

Question:

Francesca, 27 years old

Publication Date: 03/23/2007

For other posts related to Social Anxiety check out Fear of judgment

Check out the original article here 

Is it anxiety? Is it Panic?

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Question:

Dear Doctors,

 I have a simple question to ask. As I was leaving the house today, I had one of those feelings that people can have when they are facing an exam or they are emotional and scared: tachycardia, agitation, and I am sure that my hands were trembling as well. I was very much agitated and anxious, as if I was afraid of something even though there is nothing that justified it. I tried to assure myself verbally and called a friend in order to talk about something else. I did calm down after a while.

I want to ask if this could be a type of mini-panic attacks or maybe only a bit of repressed anxiety. I don’t think that I currently have huge problems; it could be because the attitude of my father is rather anxious when he thinks about my future: he would like me to have clear ideas, big projects, and to follow his ideas. However, this period is not one of the worse regarding this. In fact, last year he gave me a lot of anxiety always accusing me of “not having time” or “make the wrong choices” .. and always pointing out that I have the wrong life and how it contradicts everything he knows.

I am in University with maximum grades possible and in addition, taking a course for a degree outside of the university related to my studies, but it is never enough.

Excuse me, at last I’ve dwelt more than I intended to!

Thank you very much for the time that will be dedicated to me.

 Answer:

Good day Bruna,

It seems like you have already done the diagnosis and timely intervention, with their own means. I give you my compliments. You were cautious before concluding it to be panic attack; even if the symptoms that you’ve had do not differ in quality, but rather in intensity.

 As for your question, I would not define it as a repressed anxiety, but an anxiety that suddenly became manifested, in which the cause can be found in the relationship with the family. The continuing requests from your father to “do the best and doing it better” can generate a conflict between the desires to achieving goals following a plan and the need to please your parents. 

 The conflict that I am talking about is not seen by the discussions that you have with your father, but from you inside. In the unconscious part of your mind, you cannot agree on how to act and on what to obtain. As an example, it is almost like, even though you are always staying ahead and obtaining good grades in your studies, there is always a little voice that says “you have not done enough and your father is not happy.”

 If your relationship with your family continues in this way, most of your energies will be dispersed with anxiety and with non-satisfactions. These energies instead can be used to clarify with your father what he is doing and the goals he has for the future. If the conversation within your family is not sufficient to make any changes, you may contact a specialist that can help negotiate between. It would also be useful to find an individualized approach to establish a consistency in your mind so that you can create a harmonic and equilibrium act to pursue your dreams with better results and waste less of your energy.

 To conclude this, in order to find calmness and harmony within yourself and prevent anxiety attacks, you should learn the technics of relaxation that are simple but with great therapeutic effects; it would need to be practiced constantly and would be best if it is learned from an expert.
I wish you the best.

Answer:
Giovanni Iustulin: Psychotherapist
Question:
Bruna, 22 years old
Publication Date: 09/14/2006

For other articles on the topic check out Scared of everything and What is Anxiety Disorder
Check out the original article here

Hypochondria: fake sickness?

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Question: 

My wife, 68 years old, always had an unnatural inclination to magnify any pain she perceived. This thing worsened with aging and now, after 40 years of marriage, it has become a real problem for my daughter and me.

My wife absorbs illnesses like a sponge, she continuously visits doctors, but she does not trust any of them, especially if the diagnoses are good. Anyone that dares to say that her pains are not real, or at least are magnified, becomes her enemy. She constantly talks about her sicknesses, and she would like to be assisted as sick.

I tried to tell her that she should be checked for hypochondria, but she told me that I am selfish, self-centered, and that I am the one who need psychological cures. I do not know how to handle this anymore; my life is becoming really hard. Please help. 

Answer:

I will not tell you the definition of hypochondria, since in few lines you made a great description of this problem. Hypochondria come from a wrong interpretation of non-pathological physical sensations, and it persists even when the subjects affected are reassured that no sickness has been detected.

Obviously, a complete medical evaluation needs to exclude any organic condition that might explain the physical symptoms of your wife. Sadly we know that this evaluation will not be sufficient to reassure the subject, but it is necessary for a psychotherapist to begin a therapy.

The problems come now, as you already experimented, since the subject will almost never accept the diagnosis of hypochondria. Almost always the subject will get mad when someone tells him that “there is nothing wrong”, or that their symptoms do not have a serious cause, because this contradicts what the subject actually feels. It is often more useful to tell this patients that they have an increased level of sensitivity of their physical perceptions.

There is also the risk that these subjects, with a history of whining, sometimes in life receive a wrong or superficial medical evaluation for sicknesses that actually exist. It is always better to be careful.

Hypochondriacs are actually sincere, they do not try to fake their symptoms; they actually feel them. Two thirds of the hypochondriacs are affected by multiple coexistent psychological disorders: Major depression, panic attacks, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Anxiety Disorder.

According to the psychoanalytical theory, the subject is scared to die because unconsciously wants to die. Hypochondriacs want to feel sick, because as long as they are sick, there will be someone out there that want them alive; as long as they are sick, they do not risk to die.

One of the most indicated therapies for hypochondria is the “behavioral cognitive therapy”. In this therapy, the patient learns new thinking paths and more functional behavioral modes, trying to get rid of the vicious circle that is hypochondria. Sadly, to cure hypochondria can be pretty difficult, since the subjects almost never fully believe that the origin of their pain is only psychological. Most of them do not want to start a therapy, since they feel accused of making up their symptoms, or because they believe that their doctor or family want to get rid of them.

In conclusion, hypochondriacs need their symptoms because they need attentions, so unconsciously they do not want to heal because they are worried that they will be abandoned when this will happen.

I do not know which are the deep, new and old, motivations that your wife has to feel sick. Of course, telling her that she is crazy is not going to help. It would be useful to try to make her understand that “some of her sicknesses” can be cured with the help of a psychotherapist. Not to cure the mind itself, but to help the mind to cure the body, and to be reassured that, even when she will feel better, she will not be alone.

Answer:

Giovanni Iustulin, Psychotherapist

Question: Joe, 69 years old

Publication Date: 06/26/2006

Check out the original article here

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Neat Freak

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Question:

Hi, I live with people affected by what I think is a real sickness: the obsession for cleanliness and hygiene. They are neat freaks!

Where does this mania come from? Why these people have the need of live in excessively clean places? 

I really want to understand it, because their behavior is extremely annoying, for them it is not enough to live with this obsession, but they want to transmit it to others in any way possible! 

What is the mechanism that creates these obsessions? What drives them to give importance to things that are objectively not important? What there is behind all this hygiene need? Thanks for the answer!

Answer:

According to classic psychiatry it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The affected subject tries to keep anxiety under control by setting in motion rituals that, by being repeated in time, give him the illusion of having everything under control. Obsessive cleanliness and hygiene fulfill the same need.

The one for cleanliness is one of the most common obsessions of OCD subjects, even though it is not the only one. It represents a serious problem of contact and relation with the world and with other human beings, a problem that involves the sphere of affections and sexuality. 

The symptoms increase when the subject’s anxiety increase (the symptoms are the way the subject cope with anxiety.)

The anxiety/fear typically related to the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder makes the subject think to be so fragile that any external agent, which is perceived as dangerous, might damage/kill him. Filth may cause sickness, who is affected by OCD is almost sure that they will get those sicknesses.

The “need to transmit” these obsessions is a secondary fact: if others do not follow the ritual, they might damage its efficacy. The fact that they “give importance to things objectively not important” is irrelevant, since subjectively they are of VITAL importance.

Answer:

Sergio Scialanca, Psychologist

Question:

Mirko, 40 years old

Publication Date: 03/27/2007

Check out the original article here

Scared of Everything

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Question:

How can I go back to be the easy-going and the carefree girl that I once was? I am scared of everything: scared to drive, to stay with people, and I even suffer of agoraphobia [ed. the fear of open spaces]. Is this an anxiety disorder related problem? How do i change this?
I get to the end of each day with great effort, and I mainly do it for the sake of my daughter.

Answer:

Dear Debora,

You pictured a dramatic image of your suffering in few short lines, more than you could have done in many pages. You are scared of everything, you said, maybe even to send this help request? Your question seems like a scream in the void, or the message in a bottle that one could abandon to the sea. Looks like you are asking for my help without knowing if and how this help could get to you. I do not know your story and to suppose it is impossible, since each of us is special and different, but I can feel the intensity of your fear, maybe the depression, and the enormous effort that you make to keep all this anxiety under control for your daughter’s sake.

To be hit by such a deep crisis never happens randomly, and somewhere in your life there must be the origin of this pain. I mean that maybe something happened lately that started this anguish, and maybe this pain could have the purpose of forcing you to analyze some aspect of your present or your past. From another point of view, it might be that in this moment you are prisoner of a compulsive and obsessive thinking mechanism that could be interruptible by redirecting it to something more positive and proactive. This is not a task that you will easily accomplish alone.

I do not know if it can comfort you, but you should know that the pain that you described is fairly common and yes, it is one of the possible conditions of anxiety disorder. There are many people that everyday fight to not fall into depression or victims of panic attacks. It seems to be a problem of our age, of the society in which we live. My opinion is that at least part of the problem is caused by the isolation in which men and women often live, constantly forced to many tasks: be efficient, produce, be independent, keep going at all costs… This makes the pain of the soul to be lived as a shame and a weakness, and pushes us to force ourselves to hide the pain deep inside. That nameless pain eventually will come back, and all the forgotten emotions will form a blanket of anxiety that can be cause of many intellectual and physical issues.

I don’t want this to discourage you though: overall I am optimistic and I believe that each one of us have the resources and skills to come out of pain, and to go back to wake up in the morning with a joyful heart. Sometimes though, to begin a healing process is necessary to have the help and guidance of a therapist, so to be able to better express the pain, to find and solve the causes of the problem, and find the key for a real transformation.

Good luck and take care,

Answer:

Patricia Calabi, Psychotherapist

Question: Debora, 24 year's old

publication date: 11/20/2006

For additional informations, check out the article What is Anxiety Disorder?
Check out the original article here

What is Anxiety Disorder?

-Ask the Expert-


Question:

Hi, since about two years I keep having panic attacks and real or delusional fears. The only way I have to stop it is to take Xanax (Alprazolam) twice a day. There always have to be someone with me. What can I do? 

I don’t want to take drugs for the rest of my life and be terrified by everything.

Thanks for the answer.

Answer:

Dear Patrizia, the problem that you are reporting is a pretty common face of the Anxiety Disorder.

But what is anxiety disorder?

As you probably know, Anxiety is an adaptive experience connected to our ability to foresee our future. By itself Anxiety has a benefic function of protection and awareness in front of potentially dangerous situations. Although, when it persists, it becomes a disturbing experience and can, like in your case, pose limits to one’s life.

Using “technical” terms to describe your situation, in this moment you are suffering of something that we call the “fear of fear”. In other words, your thought is constantly involved in a catastrophic prevision of your whole reality. The result of this can only be “catastrophic” itself. This does not mean that your life is really horrible, but just that you perceive this way because you are stuck in a negative psychological reality that keep feeding itself.

How do you get out of this cycle? How do you stop anxiety?
The answer is simple and complex at the same time. It is simple because your situation is fairly common, and there are plenty of ways to solve it (psychiatrists/psychotherapists can surely be of great help.) It is also hard, because in this moment you have problems accepting professional help since the negative feeling that you perceive of your reality prevents you to have an optimistic hope, and so you tend to rely on symptoms containment therapies (such as the Xanax), rather then starting a real transforming therapy.

In conclusion, my suggestion is to look for a good professional (psychiatrist/psychotherapist) in your area. Think about this: what you are going through right now is filtered by how your mind is perceiving your reality, so your fears and your anxious attacks are only one kind of realities generated by your mind, just one of the many ”worlds” that we think is our reality. But, after all, it is just a mind-loop that can be changed.

Good Luck!

Answer:

Paolo Chellini, Psychotherapist

Question: 
Patrizia, 36 year’s old

Publication date: 12/28/2006

Check out the original article at: rolandociofi's blog