Fear of the Dark

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Question:

Dear Doctors,

I really need help! I am 22 years old, an age too old to be afraid of the dark I would say!

I am thinking for my future, of when I have to go and live alone… I can’t constantly be going around with a torch in my pocket! Every time that the lights go away, I begin to cry, becomes frightened, and I sit on the floor and possibly with my back to the wall. 

I become incapable of moving.. not even to go look for a torch or a candle! I am afraid that there is someone or that someone will enter. When I go around the house, I need to first turn on the light before entering the room. And if I turn off the lights in the room that leads into my bedroom, 

I always look over my shoulders because I am worried that someone is following me. I must always sleep with a little light (unless there is someone else near me that makes me feel safe) and with my back to the wall! I am already constantly frightened, but it triples if I have bad dreams!

What can I do? Is there a therapy good enough to take away this phobia?

Thanks for the Help!

Answer:

Yes dear Valentina, There is.

Because you see, fear is not something that happens and that’s it; it has deep roots and always a meaning for us and for our life. You can say that it is the way that our consciousness, when it’s not heard, expresses itself. Of course that at times it will make us uncertain, we don’t understand it and we can’t find a reason that explains it all, but that is how it functions. 

Fear serves as your defense. From who? Well… this is what you must find by yourself because no one else can tell you: only you can understand it with some help from a professional that can give you the tools to help you succeed.

It’s not easy to simply take away the fear of the dark, because In this case you could be not afraid of the dark anymore but immediately become terrorized by seeing a dog, or entering into an elevator, or in a million of other situations that can project your fears. 

Try to understand why you’ve chose (unconsciously) this type of defense and why you’ve expressed it in this way and how can you overcome your fears. But remember that we cannot disregard or throw away a defense before understanding what it serves… or we can find ourselves in worse danger! So dear Valentina, I believe it is time to think about getting help also because at 22 years old, it is much easier than how much you believe.

I wish you the best. 

Answer:
Livia Tedaldi, Psychologist 

Question: Valentina, 22 years old
Publication Date: 03/31/2006 

Check out the original article here 

Urophobia: Fear of urinating in public

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Question:

Hi, I am a 22 years old guy, and since about 2 months I found out that I am urophobic. Since I was a kid I had problems urinating in “public” places. For public I mean open (in the wild, for example), or crowded places. In general in any place that is not my house. I was always scared of being observed while doing my things. 

This did not prevent me to have a normal life, I traveled and visited many countries, because when I had to use the bathroom I always found some way to distract myself, and I eventually succeeded. Ever since my second year of college, though, I had to stay outside of my house for 12-14 hours a day, and I started not being able to use the bathroom anymore. I had painful anxiety crisis, with obsessive thoughts of having to force myself to urinate.

Sadly though, as a consequence of my anxiety, I began having issues such as pain and constant stimulus even after using the bathroom. I went to an urological visit, and they found a small inflammation of the prostate that could have justified my symptoms. After various cures and almost no results, I began having problems going out of my house in general (the idea of having to use the bathroom and be away from home became a horrible thought and caused me great anxiety.) 

The situation became even worser, and soon I was not able to urinate even in my house, this forced me to go to the hospital 5 times in great pain after non urinating for several days.

All the clinical exams that I took excluded organic causes. I decided to go to a psychiatrist that seem to not be aware of the existence of my pathology, and practically did not solve anything at all.

This fear prevents me to leave my house, to go to college, and to normally live like I did until a couple of months ago. Also, when I am under stress or I am unable to go to my home's bathroom, the anxiety grows to a point that I urinate wherever I am.

Can someone tell me what can I do? My life became impossible. 

Thank you.

Answer:

Dear George, I confess that I had to research the topic before to give you my answer, in fact I was not aware of the existence of this particular phobia, that seems actually to be more diffused in the recent years. Regardless of the particular shape that it has in your case, your problem is related to an anxiety disorder (in other cases it can manifests itself as a panic attack). 

The key to your problem lies in your words: “i was always scared of being observed”, -specifically- observed while your genitals are uncovered. I believe that the origin and the cure to your particular issue have to be searched in the events of your past related to your sexuality-affectivity. This from a psychological point of view.

 

On an energetic point of view (my preparation is Somato-Psycho-Energetic, and this leads me to take in consideration this aspect too), it is important to notice also the contradictory behavior of “urinating wherever you are”. This highlights the coexistence of two opposite and extreme forces. Only one of the two wins, without you being able to set a right, and natural, equilibrium.

Maybe this indication can help you looking for the right professional help for you particular case.

Good Luck!

Answer:

Sergio Scialanca, Psychologist

Question:

George, 22 years old

Publication Date: 12/05/2007 

 

Check out the original article here

Scared of Everything

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Question:

How can I go back to be the easy-going and the carefree girl that I once was? I am scared of everything: scared to drive, to stay with people, and I even suffer of agoraphobia [ed. the fear of open spaces]. Is this an anxiety disorder related problem? How do i change this?
I get to the end of each day with great effort, and I mainly do it for the sake of my daughter.

Answer:

Dear Debora,

You pictured a dramatic image of your suffering in few short lines, more than you could have done in many pages. You are scared of everything, you said, maybe even to send this help request? Your question seems like a scream in the void, or the message in a bottle that one could abandon to the sea. Looks like you are asking for my help without knowing if and how this help could get to you. I do not know your story and to suppose it is impossible, since each of us is special and different, but I can feel the intensity of your fear, maybe the depression, and the enormous effort that you make to keep all this anxiety under control for your daughter’s sake.

To be hit by such a deep crisis never happens randomly, and somewhere in your life there must be the origin of this pain. I mean that maybe something happened lately that started this anguish, and maybe this pain could have the purpose of forcing you to analyze some aspect of your present or your past. From another point of view, it might be that in this moment you are prisoner of a compulsive and obsessive thinking mechanism that could be interruptible by redirecting it to something more positive and proactive. This is not a task that you will easily accomplish alone.

I do not know if it can comfort you, but you should know that the pain that you described is fairly common and yes, it is one of the possible conditions of anxiety disorder. There are many people that everyday fight to not fall into depression or victims of panic attacks. It seems to be a problem of our age, of the society in which we live. My opinion is that at least part of the problem is caused by the isolation in which men and women often live, constantly forced to many tasks: be efficient, produce, be independent, keep going at all costs… This makes the pain of the soul to be lived as a shame and a weakness, and pushes us to force ourselves to hide the pain deep inside. That nameless pain eventually will come back, and all the forgotten emotions will form a blanket of anxiety that can be cause of many intellectual and physical issues.

I don’t want this to discourage you though: overall I am optimistic and I believe that each one of us have the resources and skills to come out of pain, and to go back to wake up in the morning with a joyful heart. Sometimes though, to begin a healing process is necessary to have the help and guidance of a therapist, so to be able to better express the pain, to find and solve the causes of the problem, and find the key for a real transformation.

Good luck and take care,

Answer:

Patricia Calabi, Psychotherapist

Question: Debora, 24 year's old

publication date: 11/20/2006

For additional informations, check out the article What is Anxiety Disorder?
Check out the original article here

What is Anxiety Disorder?

-Ask the Expert-


Question:

Hi, since about two years I keep having panic attacks and real or delusional fears. The only way I have to stop it is to take Xanax (Alprazolam) twice a day. There always have to be someone with me. What can I do? 

I don’t want to take drugs for the rest of my life and be terrified by everything.

Thanks for the answer.

Answer:

Dear Patrizia, the problem that you are reporting is a pretty common face of the Anxiety Disorder.

But what is anxiety disorder?

As you probably know, Anxiety is an adaptive experience connected to our ability to foresee our future. By itself Anxiety has a benefic function of protection and awareness in front of potentially dangerous situations. Although, when it persists, it becomes a disturbing experience and can, like in your case, pose limits to one’s life.

Using “technical” terms to describe your situation, in this moment you are suffering of something that we call the “fear of fear”. In other words, your thought is constantly involved in a catastrophic prevision of your whole reality. The result of this can only be “catastrophic” itself. This does not mean that your life is really horrible, but just that you perceive this way because you are stuck in a negative psychological reality that keep feeding itself.

How do you get out of this cycle? How do you stop anxiety?
The answer is simple and complex at the same time. It is simple because your situation is fairly common, and there are plenty of ways to solve it (psychiatrists/psychotherapists can surely be of great help.) It is also hard, because in this moment you have problems accepting professional help since the negative feeling that you perceive of your reality prevents you to have an optimistic hope, and so you tend to rely on symptoms containment therapies (such as the Xanax), rather then starting a real transforming therapy.

In conclusion, my suggestion is to look for a good professional (psychiatrist/psychotherapist) in your area. Think about this: what you are going through right now is filtered by how your mind is perceiving your reality, so your fears and your anxious attacks are only one kind of realities generated by your mind, just one of the many ”worlds” that we think is our reality. But, after all, it is just a mind-loop that can be changed.

Good Luck!

Answer:

Paolo Chellini, Psychotherapist

Question: 
Patrizia, 36 year’s old

Publication date: 12/28/2006

Check out the original article at: rolandociofi's blog