-Ask the Expert-
Question:
I want to know if depression can exist at 20 year’s old and
how to cure it. Is depression a sickness? Or is it just a frame of mind? I am
worried about whom I will become once I grow up, and I cannot find the way out
of this tunnel. I spend most of my time in front of my computer alone, and I
have almost no relations with the outside world.
My depression is creating me
troubles while looking for a job, and I believe it is changing my personality.
I meet with a psychotherapist once a week. I want to change and to grow up. I
want to start over. Am I still in time? I think and hope so.
I will be waiting
for your answer.
Answer:
Dear Max,
Yes, depression at 20 year’s old can exist and it is
curable! I believe you already knew this, since, as you said, you meet with a
psychotherapist.
Depression is both a sickness and a frame of mind. It is a
sickness that manifests itself with a frame of mind, but it can also be a frame
of mind that becomes a sickness. Depression is a very complex pathology, and
its origins are many, like many are its cures.
Before to talk about depression, it is important to
understand that psychic pain is part of human nature. Sadness and emotionally
painful events will always happen sometimes in one’s life. Like joy, pain is
proof of our humanity, of our ability to love and live following out wishes and
projects, with the risk to meet suffering in the path.
Today we tend to call depression every sadness, every
disappointment, every bad day. This creates a great confusion. We are talking
about depression only when the sadness becomes deep and dark and come with
anguish, low self-esteem, loss of desires and interests toward the world, or
intense fatigue while doing daily routines (just to mention some of the
symptoms of depression.)
Even when pain is the consequence of a loss or a big trauma,
we talk about sickness only when one is not able to recover autonomously after
a certain amount of time. In that case, it becomes necessary a psychiatric or
psychotherapeutic help.
Depression is often cured with drugs, but to heal is almost
always necessary a help that is not only medical. Since it is a pathology that
deal deeply with feelings, thoughts, emotional experiences, and how the subject
perceives its identity and psychic health, the cure goes trough reanalyzing
past experiences and traumas looking for ways to create new starting points in
one’s life.
When you are twenty year’s old, you just left adolescence
and you are beginning your adulthood. It is normal that you are asking yourself
many questions, and that doubts are coming up. It is important that these
doubts do not become obsessive thoughts that may prevent you to new decisions
and actions. You are aware of the risk that you take by spending most of your
time in front of a computer. I do not know what kind of activities you do
there, but the excessive use of the Internet, like of anything else, can become
addicting, just like a drug. In some cases it can restrain the abilities to
relate to others, or, in severe cases, it can deform the perception that one
has of his identity, especially in those subjects that have a negative
perception of themselves. This is not about demonizing the Internet like often
happens in medias, but it is to understand the risks involved in the excessive
use of this great resource.
“Am I still in time?” you asked. Of course yes, not just
because you are very young, but also because there is no time limit to take a
look into yourself, or too look outside and take important decisions. It is
always possible to wake up in the morning and say: “today I am going to
change.” My suggestion for now is to keep meeting with your psychotherapist and
choose everyday the time to turn off the computer and organize some external
activity.
Best wishes,
Answer:
Patricia Calabi, Psychotherapist
Question:
Max, 20 year’s old
