Urophobia: Fear of urinating in public

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Question:

Hi, I am a 22 years old guy, and since about 2 months I found out that I am urophobic. Since I was a kid I had problems urinating in “public” places. For public I mean open (in the wild, for example), or crowded places. In general in any place that is not my house. I was always scared of being observed while doing my things. 

This did not prevent me to have a normal life, I traveled and visited many countries, because when I had to use the bathroom I always found some way to distract myself, and I eventually succeeded. Ever since my second year of college, though, I had to stay outside of my house for 12-14 hours a day, and I started not being able to use the bathroom anymore. I had painful anxiety crisis, with obsessive thoughts of having to force myself to urinate.

Sadly though, as a consequence of my anxiety, I began having issues such as pain and constant stimulus even after using the bathroom. I went to an urological visit, and they found a small inflammation of the prostate that could have justified my symptoms. After various cures and almost no results, I began having problems going out of my house in general (the idea of having to use the bathroom and be away from home became a horrible thought and caused me great anxiety.) 

The situation became even worser, and soon I was not able to urinate even in my house, this forced me to go to the hospital 5 times in great pain after non urinating for several days.

All the clinical exams that I took excluded organic causes. I decided to go to a psychiatrist that seem to not be aware of the existence of my pathology, and practically did not solve anything at all.

This fear prevents me to leave my house, to go to college, and to normally live like I did until a couple of months ago. Also, when I am under stress or I am unable to go to my home's bathroom, the anxiety grows to a point that I urinate wherever I am.

Can someone tell me what can I do? My life became impossible. 

Thank you.

Answer:

Dear George, I confess that I had to research the topic before to give you my answer, in fact I was not aware of the existence of this particular phobia, that seems actually to be more diffused in the recent years. Regardless of the particular shape that it has in your case, your problem is related to an anxiety disorder (in other cases it can manifests itself as a panic attack). 

The key to your problem lies in your words: “i was always scared of being observed”, -specifically- observed while your genitals are uncovered. I believe that the origin and the cure to your particular issue have to be searched in the events of your past related to your sexuality-affectivity. This from a psychological point of view.

 

On an energetic point of view (my preparation is Somato-Psycho-Energetic, and this leads me to take in consideration this aspect too), it is important to notice also the contradictory behavior of “urinating wherever you are”. This highlights the coexistence of two opposite and extreme forces. Only one of the two wins, without you being able to set a right, and natural, equilibrium.

Maybe this indication can help you looking for the right professional help for you particular case.

Good Luck!

Answer:

Sergio Scialanca, Psychologist

Question:

George, 22 years old

Publication Date: 12/05/2007 

 

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Social Anxiety: Sweating, Suffocating and Panic Attacks

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Question:

Dear Doctors,

I am writing to you because my social life has been changing recently. In fact, I tend to go out much less now because doing so gives me a lot of physical and mental discomfort. My problem is related to sweating and to strong and bad odor; the problem, I think, instead is not only linked psychologically but more importantly to my ability to respire.

For example, if I find myself in crowded and somewhat heated places, I suffer like a dog; I become paranoid when I feel like I am suffocating and try to avoid places with a possibility of sweating. I would like to know if a septum deviation can solve anything, including palpitation. Thank You.

Answer:

Dear Francesca,

The fact that you asked this question to someone who is specialized in psychology related science brings me to think that there is something inside you that is pushing you to think that there are some psychological component to the problems that you are describing, not only physical.

Surely I do not exclude the importance to put into consideration the problems that are physical and can have a negative impact on your problem, but wait before considering seeing a specialist doctor; as a psychologist, I pay much more attention only the perception that you have on these physical characteristics and the amount of pain it cause you more than the sweating and the bad odor itself. A high pain can become something that can slowly hinder your social relations even more.

I think at the bottom of all this there is an anxiety component that is more or less known and limiting you particularly; connecting it to your social situations, it manifests through your fear of “having something wrong” that the others can tell. Following this hypothesis it can also be considered the palpitation that you’ve quickly mentioned as a very important element to understand your situation better.

Referring back to your question, I have to confirm how much I believe breathing to be the most important element to take in consideration, and to improve on. For example, beginning from techniques that are specific and goal-oriented, with the help of an expert, a path can be found to help you overcome in the best way possible the problems that you’ve said. To conclude this, what I really want to tell you in all honesty is that you must develop more trust and hope within yourself, because the consequence can be seen in these problems.

Wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer:

Manuele Matera, Psychologist

Question:

Francesca, 27 years old

Publication Date: 03/23/2007

For other posts related to Social Anxiety check out Fear of judgment

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Alcohol and social anxiety

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Question:

Doctors, I will explain you my situation. I have been shy with girls since I was a kid. In fact, people considered me a bit naïve, and girls did not like me. I have never been in a relationship, even in a short one. This went on until I was 19 years old. One day, during a party with friends, I began drinking alcohol (I never drunk before).

Initially, the effect was very positive. While bar hopping, all the girls I met on my way wanted to chat with me. Alcohol’s effects made me very confident. Since I started to drink every weekend, I met plenty of girls and I had many “relationship”. These were always short-lived, and without much emotional involvement. I never exposed myself with girls that I was actually interested in, because I feared to be refused. At this point of my life I realized that I couldn’t go on like this, and I would like to be intriguing without being tipsy.

How can I talk with a girl that I really like without looking clumsy?

Answer:

Dear Fabio, clearly there is no seduction pill or magic spell that will make you “intriguing.” Charm comes from the value that you give to yourself, regardless of the answer (positive or negative) that you receive from the world. If you learn how to like and respect yourself (without becoming blind to reality, or disrespectful to others) you will obtain respect and recognition consequentially. It is not about beauty (and I believe you already understood this), but about inner peace and harmony.

Alcohol and drugs attracts insecure people because they inhibit their self-critical judgment. This way though, the problem worsens because it is not faced, and because alcohol and drugs gives bad side effects both physically and psychically.

My suggestion is to try to understand which were the events that convinced you that you are not good enough to fulfill yours and others’ expectations. Then you should analyze them and find in yourself the confidence that you are looking for, because that can never come from outside. Of course, you can visit a specialist to help you do this.

Good Luck

Answer:

Lara Scarsella, Psychotherapist

Question:

Fabio, 23 years old

Publication Date: 06/15/2007

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The fear of judgment

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Question:

Hi, my name is Mark and I am 30 year’s old. My problem is this: my mood depends almost entirely on the behavior that other people have in my regards. If I notice detachment from them, I immediately think that they are mad at me. My reaction to this is a strong depression (it is 7 years that I take drugs for depression and panic attacks). I have a strong fear of judgment.

If I think that someone is mad at me, I create any excuse to come in contact with that person as soon as possible because I feel an unavoidable need to understand the reasons of their anger or if that anger that I perceived is actually inexistent. All of this creates a chain mechanism that sometimes annihilates me for days (for example if it is Friday and I cannot see that person until Monday.) I lay down on my bed and I keep thinking about it all the time. Obviously I do not reach any conclusion. In this way, I am destroying my life and myself.

I cannot find joy, enthusiasm, and energy to do my daily stuff anymore. The future of my days is strictly linked to the mood and the behavior towards me of the people around me. I cannot live in this situation any longer, I feel oppressed and “driven” by someone that is not I.

Help.

Answer:

Mark,

I see that you are asking for help, but you do not really formulate any specific question. I am not sure what do you need to be helped. You say that you have a strong fear of judgment. What I see is that you have clear ideas on your situation. The description that you give is lucid and rational. You are in a depressive state that makes you feel like “in a cage”, you cannot see the exit. There is no way out! That is what the panic attacks are telling you. And somehow it is like that. You live everyday based on others, what others think about you, what they do, their expressions, their behavior, etc. You are always living outside of yourself, and surely influenced by someone that is not you. You survive thinking about what you think is the other people’s judgment about you. In this way you are out of yourself, you gave your power out forgetting your entire world that gets inevitably neglected.

Of course this has its advantages! The most obvious is that you are busy, you fill your mind, and you have something “else” to think about. Apparently to think about others, or through others, creates less pain and responsibility than doing it directly.

You must be very strong! You need a lot of strength to survive in this condition. It is a shame that this energy gets used in such a destructive and painful way. Imagine what you could do or you could feel if you would use this energy for yourself! First of all working on your situation, to change old mechanism and put yourself on the podium, at the center of your mood and your world. This implies putting yourself at the center of your pain, but also of your joy! In fact you, living outside of yourself, do not know the real taste of life and the joy that exists in it. You live constantly annihilating yourself, even though from your words I can see a deep need for love and relations. In fact, what you fear the most is the detachments from others and their judgment, almost like if their love was vital for your existence.

You said that you are taking anti-depressants since 7 years, but as you can see the drugs are not enough to modify the situation you are in. Drugs dull the symptoms, but they are often not enough to modify your life. To do so you need to start a journey in your emotional world, supported by an expert psychotherapeutic guide.

Mark, I am not sure if this is what you wanted to hear, if it is what you expected asking for help. Mine can seem like a simple and banal answer. Surely, it is not easy to take the situation in your hands. It is hard, and I mean it, to stop feeling sorry for yourself, and to drop the victim’s benefits. There is only one way: find your center! There are no shortcuts or easier ways.

I wish you a good journey.

Answer:

Sabrina Costantini, Psychotherapist

Question:

Mark, 30 year’s old

Publication date: 01/17/2007

If you were looking for panic attacks or anxiety related topics read about What is Anxiety Disorder?

Check out the original article here