What is Compulsive Hoarding?

-Library-

How many times before to throw away some old object you thought: “Should I keep it? Maybe it will be useful...?” It is never easy to let go of our stuff, but there are people for whom it is almost impossible. They cannot distinguish between what is important and what is not; they are affected by a pathology: Compulsive Hoarding.

What is Compulsive Hoarding? 

Let's see.

Compulsive Hoarding is often defined as “pathological collecting,” and its is the pathological tendency to keep massive amounts of useless objects to the point that parts of the house (if not the whole house) of the affected become uninhabitable. This usually creates many problems in the life of the subjects, one of them being that they are constantly forced to justify themselves in front of family and friends.

Why do compulsive hoarders keep so much “useless junk” around? Researchers have found that the hoarders are excessively involved towards their properties. Every old grocery receipt, or depleted pen is perceived as part of the subject's person and of his past; so these objects that most people would define “junk”, have a great emotional importance for the hoarder. 

Also, it exists a “functional” hoarding: some compulsive hoarder do not throw away the old hairdryer, or the old toaster, because they believe that they might be useful in the future.

The accumulation of stuff is directly related to complications in planning and organizing: those affected by pathological collecting have limited “mental categories”, and problems in cataloging objects.

Some researches in neuroscience show that the brains of the hoarders handles the problem “throw away or not?” in a very different way from “normal” brains. Specifically, the prefrontal cortex reacts very energically when the subjects are asked to throw away old things. This cerebral area is also stimulated when there is a need to take difficult decisions, or to evaluate feelings or rational thoughts. In fact, compulsive hoarders often lack of decision-making skills.

When a subject recognizes as exaggerate his tendency to keep his stuff , he should see a psychotherapist. Sadly though, compulsive hoarding is only discovered after the subject see a therapist, because it is almost never the original reason. This happens because many compulsive hoarders suffer from depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. One of those reasons is usually what make them set their first appointments.

An efficient therapy includes many exercises to learn how to organize one's mind and how to take decisions, so to lead the patients to reconsider their relations with old, broken, or worthless objects.

Source: http://www.crescita-personale.it/

Publication Date: 09/21/2012

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Affected by Sexual Addiction

-Ask the Expert-

Question:

I have a huge problem! I am affected by sexual addiction. To make you better understand the gravity of my situation, I will say this: in 3 months I had sex with about 30 different guys.

Now I found a person that I like and I want to stay with, and that apparently succeeded in stopping my impulses! But I am scared that it will come back.

Answer:

Dear Gio, you talk about sexual addiction, but I do not know if this diagnosis comes from a professional, or if it is your perception based on your behavior.

However, I guess that right now the situation is very difficult for you. Like it happens in drug addiction, what you are addicted to is a mean to alleviate pain, stress, and anxiety. In the specific case of sexual addiction, for example, it could be your way to fill an intense need for affection and gentleness. It could be a request for attentions, or even a confirmation of your physical aspect (to reinforce your self-esteem).

Whatever is the motivation that leads you to have so many sexual intercourses, It seems that it makes you live sexuality in an obsessive way, to the point that it creates a vicious circle that becomes difficult to escape.

But now you found a person that you like, and it looks like he stopped your impulse. From your words, I imagine that you would like this relationship to last, and to be “healed” from your “sickness”. But you are scared that the impulse could come back.

I can understand what you are experiencing, so my suggestion is to contact a professional, possibly an expert in this type of addiction, so that he can do a more sharp diagnosis, and he can find the right way to make you live healthily your sexuality.

This means that you have to take the responsibility of accepting who you are, and of choosing the path that will let you have the best quality of life possible. You will have to work on yourself, and on what you want from yourself, from your sexuality, and from your relationships.

I wish you good luck.

Answer:

Giulia Checcucci, psychotherapist

Question:

Gio, 21 years old

Publication Date: 09/20/2010

For similar articles, check out Sexual Behavior: high sex drive

Check out the original article here

Jelousy in relationships

-Ask the Expert-

Question:

Hello,

I am a 33 years old women that is currently in a loving relationship, maybe, for the first time in my life. Until now, I've lived in a state of confusion and have had many dates in the past, few of them however ever even got close to the idea of a relationship. Right now, I am with this person with who I've discussed all my life; he knows everything about me, my sex background, and the difficult life that I've had. We were not friends yet when I told him about my past sexual experiences; but this is the cause of my problems today. It has only been 3 months that we are together even if the discussions make it seem like it's been years. 

The main point is that he doesn't accept some of my past behaviors, specifically in a particular situation regarding sex. He admits that he is closed-minded and macho regarding this argument but that is just who he is. I see his effort to want to overcome this argument and on the other hand, he feels bad, changes mood, and hides himself from me because he doesn't want me to see him in this state; even if I am always available and open to discuss them. We are still going forward in our relationship, driven by strong feelings towards each other, but it seems to be that our relationship is a bit auto-destructive despite our efforts to grow together. It is in our personality to bring about certain arguments. Another thing particular is that when we stay together, we are a very joyful couple while these harder discussions happens only when we talk on the phone. 

I would like to help, but I don't know what is considered being in a healthy relationship and I don't know to what point can he continue to suffer for this. My dilemma is how can he overcome these actions of my past but continue to love me?

Shouldn't one accept both the good and the bad of their love ones?

Answer:

Dear Maddalena, I've read your inquiry with attention regarding your courage and the difficulties that you are facing with your partner. I find it very important for you, along with your partner, to see a psychologist specialized in couple's relationships if you really intend to find a effective, valid, and mutual relationships to your current problem. Although, I also intend to offer my point of view professionally hoping that I can give you a direction and the first possibility regarding your partner that is positive. 

It is not concentrated on your partner, on his way to handle this relationship, or on his inability to accept your past love. It is, instead, it is attentively concentrated on your feelings, on your way of loving and on your feelings that you have for your partner. Don't live with facts like your partner, that in addition makes himself feel bad and pushes away feelings and the feelings that he have for you. The facts, the situations, and the circumstances, including the past are fixed; they will not change. 

In fact, they have disadvantages, like how it is happening to you two, that poisons the love relationship and consequently, the sensibility and empathy for each other that should instead grow and developing with each day. The fact that your partner insist and persist on your past love life can be destructive if we do not define it clearly, much like the absence of self confidence, low self-esteem, and especially the difficulty on focusing on loving you.

I believe that your relationship and your communication is, right now, far from healthy. It seems instead to be in a dangerous loop around each-other's past. It is important to substitute emotions and feelings to the facts and these feelings must be lived and shared in the present.

This is what you should both work for if you want to improve your relationship. Do not talk about facts. Talk about feelings, focus on the emotions, and on your love for each-other. Focus on the present. Rather than your rationality, you should trust your feelings. 

If doing so is going to be difficult, then it is necessary -if you want to keep the relationship alive- that you meet with a professional.

I hope I have been of some help. Good luck.

 

Answer:
Silvano Forcillo, Psychotherapist
Question: 

Maddalena, 33 years old
Publication Date: 03/25/2007

Check out the original article here

 

Urophobia: Fear of urinating in public

-Ask the Expert-

Question:

Hi, I am a 22 years old guy, and since about 2 months I found out that I am urophobic. Since I was a kid I had problems urinating in “public” places. For public I mean open (in the wild, for example), or crowded places. In general in any place that is not my house. I was always scared of being observed while doing my things. 

This did not prevent me to have a normal life, I traveled and visited many countries, because when I had to use the bathroom I always found some way to distract myself, and I eventually succeeded. Ever since my second year of college, though, I had to stay outside of my house for 12-14 hours a day, and I started not being able to use the bathroom anymore. I had painful anxiety crisis, with obsessive thoughts of having to force myself to urinate.

Sadly though, as a consequence of my anxiety, I began having issues such as pain and constant stimulus even after using the bathroom. I went to an urological visit, and they found a small inflammation of the prostate that could have justified my symptoms. After various cures and almost no results, I began having problems going out of my house in general (the idea of having to use the bathroom and be away from home became a horrible thought and caused me great anxiety.) 

The situation became even worser, and soon I was not able to urinate even in my house, this forced me to go to the hospital 5 times in great pain after non urinating for several days.

All the clinical exams that I took excluded organic causes. I decided to go to a psychiatrist that seem to not be aware of the existence of my pathology, and practically did not solve anything at all.

This fear prevents me to leave my house, to go to college, and to normally live like I did until a couple of months ago. Also, when I am under stress or I am unable to go to my home's bathroom, the anxiety grows to a point that I urinate wherever I am.

Can someone tell me what can I do? My life became impossible. 

Thank you.

Answer:

Dear George, I confess that I had to research the topic before to give you my answer, in fact I was not aware of the existence of this particular phobia, that seems actually to be more diffused in the recent years. Regardless of the particular shape that it has in your case, your problem is related to an anxiety disorder (in other cases it can manifests itself as a panic attack). 

The key to your problem lies in your words: “i was always scared of being observed”, -specifically- observed while your genitals are uncovered. I believe that the origin and the cure to your particular issue have to be searched in the events of your past related to your sexuality-affectivity. This from a psychological point of view.

 

On an energetic point of view (my preparation is Somato-Psycho-Energetic, and this leads me to take in consideration this aspect too), it is important to notice also the contradictory behavior of “urinating wherever you are”. This highlights the coexistence of two opposite and extreme forces. Only one of the two wins, without you being able to set a right, and natural, equilibrium.

Maybe this indication can help you looking for the right professional help for you particular case.

Good Luck!

Answer:

Sergio Scialanca, Psychologist

Question:

George, 22 years old

Publication Date: 12/05/2007 

 

Check out the original article here