Fear of the Dark

-Ask the Expert-

Question:

Dear Doctors,

I really need help! I am 22 years old, an age too old to be afraid of the dark I would say!

I am thinking for my future, of when I have to go and live alone… I can’t constantly be going around with a torch in my pocket! Every time that the lights go away, I begin to cry, becomes frightened, and I sit on the floor and possibly with my back to the wall. 

I become incapable of moving.. not even to go look for a torch or a candle! I am afraid that there is someone or that someone will enter. When I go around the house, I need to first turn on the light before entering the room. And if I turn off the lights in the room that leads into my bedroom, 

I always look over my shoulders because I am worried that someone is following me. I must always sleep with a little light (unless there is someone else near me that makes me feel safe) and with my back to the wall! I am already constantly frightened, but it triples if I have bad dreams!

What can I do? Is there a therapy good enough to take away this phobia?

Thanks for the Help!

Answer:

Yes dear Valentina, There is.

Because you see, fear is not something that happens and that’s it; it has deep roots and always a meaning for us and for our life. You can say that it is the way that our consciousness, when it’s not heard, expresses itself. Of course that at times it will make us uncertain, we don’t understand it and we can’t find a reason that explains it all, but that is how it functions. 

Fear serves as your defense. From who? Well… this is what you must find by yourself because no one else can tell you: only you can understand it with some help from a professional that can give you the tools to help you succeed.

It’s not easy to simply take away the fear of the dark, because In this case you could be not afraid of the dark anymore but immediately become terrorized by seeing a dog, or entering into an elevator, or in a million of other situations that can project your fears. 

Try to understand why you’ve chose (unconsciously) this type of defense and why you’ve expressed it in this way and how can you overcome your fears. But remember that we cannot disregard or throw away a defense before understanding what it serves… or we can find ourselves in worse danger! So dear Valentina, I believe it is time to think about getting help also because at 22 years old, it is much easier than how much you believe.

I wish you the best. 

Answer:
Livia Tedaldi, Psychologist 

Question: Valentina, 22 years old
Publication Date: 03/31/2006 

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